Tonight we went and listened to our friend's band perform. He is a friend from church, and everyone there that we knew were friends from church. I ended up having an awesome conversation with one couple that totally renewed my faith. Just kidding, though I know that is an absolutely horrible thing to kid about. Actually, the conversation was about losing faith. The husband has been struggling with his faith for about three years now, pretty much ever since the two of them got married. He went to Moody Bible Institute (a super Christian college) and grew up in a Baptist family, like me. He has stopped going to church for about a year now, though his wife is still very actively involved.
He said that he has basically stopped struggling with it. He has almost completely decided it is too difficult and exhausting and has ended up on the side of not believing. Interestingly, they are expecting a baby this summer, which I am sure complicates matters. At least it would for me.
I asked if he is just waiting for faith to come back to him suddenly, to alight on his shoulder like a dove as I picture it (I didn't actually provide that cheesy image), which is what I feel like I am kind of waiting for. I expect that one day, hopefully (and I had previously assumed surely) before Easter, I will suddenly be filled with complete belief again. It will all be real and true and indisputable once more. But maybe I have started on a longer road than I had originally anticipated, like Odysseus. Maybe it isn't going to end at Easter.
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