Eternity in their hearts?

I am feeling like life isn't worth being that disappointed about because it doesn't have the potential to be that great anyway. It is one of the more depressing thoughts I have ever had. Even if I was living on a perfect beautiful island in the middle of the Andaman Sea with just the right amount of civilization and the perfect hedonistic life, I would still be unfulfilled. After imagining that perfect place it is hard to imagine not being content, but I am convinced that even that life would be disappointing. People would die and let me down, the environment would change, I would never be sure what I was meant to do with my life, I would fantasize that I would be happier if I had or did not have children or a husband (depending on which I had), and I would age and lose my mind and body.

"From dust we came and to dust we shall return." That's what that means, right? And, "the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." That's what the Bible says...

Despite all signs to the contrary, I really don't think I am depressed right now either. I am just feeling like life is futile and our expectations of meaning and joy are worthless, only causing pain. Instead of trying to fulfill dreams or accomplish goals we need to simply seek out happiness in each moment, as much as that is possible. I am losing faith that helping others is even meaningful, even though that is all I have wanted to do: "to help the poor." In many ways, I think the best we can hope to do in our lives is to share love with the people around us, to seek truth for ourselves, and to peacefully let others believe what they choose and to encourage them on their own journeys.

I don't know why we need salvation, especially if it is simply for the purpose of avoiding hell. However, after you realize the fact that life is never going to fulfill all your dreams, there is a temptation to start living purely for the uncertain afterlife. The Vineyard and other similar church denominations is passionate about the idea that God wants his kingdom to exist on earth now, and I don't know how this fits in. I, for one, don't see how this earth can be God's kingdom, at least many of the urban places I have lived, like here in Chicago. There is no way to keep people from getting sick and dying or from losing all hope. How can God's kingdom be here?