I just did something I shouldn't have done. I looked at blogs of friends of mine who are living in other exotic places in the world doing the sorts of things I dream about. I hate that I shouldn't do that sort of thing because it just puts me into a funk about my own life, but it does... every time. God, if you are real, please just give me contentment and peace.
My daughters both have bad fevers tonight, and my husband is at a friend's house watching basketball. I feel alone and sad and worried. I wish I felt like I could just be with Jesus or something. It's times like these that I wish he would save me from myself and my deep sadness. And I don't even know where my sadness comes from.
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